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Hi lovelies 🌸 I hope you’ve had a good day. It’s 23:24 here and my guests just left. I spent the day cleaning, getting myself and my little one ready, picking up the cake and some new clothes for my little 🦖. I’m turning 31 in a few days so my family got together and celebrated it today. 

I ordered a cake from a different shop today and went with a raffaelo cake. Apparently they ran out of raffaelo so I ended up with kinder bueno on top of the cake

I had fun but the truth is that I’m so exhausted, I was so tired by the time I got everything done. I keep telling myself that I have to return to work and that I can’t sit around at home all day. But at the same time I know that I really need to relax before I kolaps. It’s hard when those around you don’t really understand what us bipolis go through. Our depression isn’t the same as those with only depression. Our manic episodes aren’t all fun and games even if we might be seen as more fun or easier to be around. I’m back at the same place mentally after every single manic episode. I feel shame over how I’ve acted, what I said and what I did. I carry every mistake with me every day. I can’t just forgive and forget. It’s a circle going round and round. 

I sometimes wonder how we managed to get this far, doctors doesn’t seem to really understand what it is, the only drug that is specifically for treating bipolar is lithium. The rest is trying a mix of different combinations until you find the right one. Okay this one is going dark and I don’t have the energy for it so sweet dreams. Stay safe, stay you❤️

//🦋